I have struggled with MG my whole, well, adulthood. It is something that cannot be fixed by your local doctor, your girlfriends, nor your spouse. It is...MOM GUILT. Yes, I said it. We all have it. I know as you read this I can picture you nodding your head and shouting AMEN! Today that changed.
I was listening to a business audio book on how to excel with my God given talents and building my business out of that. Step 1 is taken care of. Business is created. As I worked through the steps she outlined it became clear and more manageable. I like TO DO lists. I can follow steps. I can't wander aimlessly...
Anywho, fast forward to the end of the book. It is the last chapter and to be honest I was barely listening as I thought I had received all I was going to receive from it at this point. Then I heard it. MOM GUILT. This woman grew up in her mother's little cake shop. Her mother was a single mom raising a small girl when she decided to take a leap of faith on her dream. (Ok, now I'm listening). She stated that time and again people would tell her mom that she was doing all the WRONG things. She was going to be raising a self-centered, selfish child who had everything handed to them. Sometimes it was the fact that she was in the shop with her at 2am while she worked. That rubbed people the wrong way too. No matter what her mother did, she was being judged. Then out of her mouth came the gospel I needed to hear.
"What people didn't know was that I saw the struggle. I was there with her through every thing that happened. From a robbery to broken pipes that ruined the shop. It taught me perseverance. It taught me to never give up. It instilled in me a worth that only SEEING can do. It made me who I am today, and created in me a spark that can never be blown out. Did it suck sometimes, sure. Of course it did. I am telling you that you are enough. When you feel as if you are doing it wrong because they are with you during your season of growth and it seems as if all you do is work. Know that they are watching. Learning. Admiring. One day they will tell you just how much it means to them that you put yourself out there. You risked it all FOR THEM. Stop giving yourself a hard time. Stop thinking you are ruining your children by simply setting an example. That's what you are doing. You are setting an example. Living your words."
Paraphrased and from memory but you get the gist. So then I was crying at my counter in my bakery. I desperately needed to hear that I AM A GOOD MOM EVEN WHEN I HAVE TO TAKE MY KIDS TO WORK. I can't tell you how much that meant. It was the best advice/section in that entire book!!! It gave me inspiration and motivation. It gives me freedom to do the things I know need to be done without feeling bad that I missed ONE karate lesson, or ONE gymnastic practice. My work and my dream can be one again. It can fuel them to become who they are destined to be....all through cookies!